The first time I even used the word anxiety I was 18, maybe 17. There were clear physical responses where my body would constrict, but I accepted it as “normal” for me and this split in me as something “normal” for me and I provided therapy for myself.
My body couldn’t stand this stress and split for long and I developed throat spasms and acid reflux where I couldn’t speak for 2 years. So, psychosomatic ailment. The lack of validation from doctors and family was traumatizing where I began to obsessively question myself in an identity crisis to know the truth about me and my experience.
I was saved by the mindfulness teachings of a gentleman named Eckhart Tolle so that not only did I see the illusion of these ocd thoughts but I saw the illusion of most of our useless thinking. I still struggle with ocd but I know a consistent mindfulness practice will cure it, one day at a time.
You are the awareness behind everything you think and feel. This too shall pass.
It really helps to have a language for these experiences, which I didn’t have early on. And to know that you are deeper than the experience of anxiety or depression. It also helps to go to therapy. There is no shame in any of this and it should be destigmatized. Bravo 👏
- Milad Bahai